One of those moments...

Have you ever had one of those days that's just utterly overwhelming? You know, everything's going wrong, you can't quite figure out how to do things, and you just feel like you're at your wits' end?

I've had a few weeks of that, and it's getting to me. It's nothing terribly serious, of course, but I'm dealing with new medical stuff, lots of new joint pains, and I've had several moments lately where I just feel completely out of "cope". Then someone comes along and makes an offhand comment that somehow resets my cope levels and makes me feel so much better.

Today my family and I went to a local burger place. We go there often enough that the staff recognizes us and jokes around with us. Today was no different, and we had several laughs with them while we were there.

That's nice, and it did cheer me up. But as we were leaving, I had one of those moments... the staff member we'd been joking with earlier stopped us on our way out the door. He told us that he really does love to see us come in, because we brighten up his day and make it just that little bit happier.

I'm not going to lie, I smiled and thanked him, and my husband told him that he makes our days better too. We walked out to our car and I had a bit of a happy cry...

Sometimes life with chronic illness can feel overwhelming and endless. Sometimes it feels like it's too much and it's not worth fighting through. But those moments when someone tells me that I make their life better?

It totally makes everything worth it. And I'm crying again thinking about it, explaining it to my husband who was wondering why I was suddenly sniffling. Those little moments of connection are everywhere, and they connect us in so many ways.

That kind word you give to someone can affect them so much more deeply than you could ever imagine.

Art/Craft Therapy for Pain Management, AKA What I've Been Doing for the Last Month

I had the best of intentions. I was going to post fun photos of the things I'd been making. Funny how life stepped in and slapped me around a bit! Ok, I'm exaggerating quite a bit, but the last six weeks or so have been really, REALLY unpleasant thanks to changes in the medication I take for fibromyalgia.

Let's start out with the flowers. See, I have this bizarre need to make things, especially pretty things. For whatever reason, I had an epiphany in the middle of the WalMart scrapbooking section. I found the cutest little flower punch in their $2 bins, and realized I could make cute cute mini flowers, then emboss them with my dotting tools.

This is a closeup shot of my flowers.
They're all about dime-sized. Cute, eh?

Of course, once I had them punched, I realized I could use my gel pens and hand sanitizer trick to add some shading and dimension to them. I did, and would up with quite a few really pretty flowers.


What will I do with these? I have no idea... I figured maybe I'll throw them on eBay or Etsy or something. I'm sure someone could come up with cute uses for these!

This isn't all of them... one of the little guys ran away when I was
photoing the group. Oh, and one found a home before I could
get any photos of him. Weenie.

I've also been having a lot of fun making stuffed animals. Would you believe all of these are hand-sewn? They are... and I think that's one reason they help distract me from my pain. I get so focused on each stitch that the pain signals just don't seem to be as noticeable.

I'm not sure which of them is my favorite. I like the big purple guy in the back. He's made of flannel baby blanket with felt details, and he's super snuggly. I also love the stripey guy on his left... I spent almost as much time on that heart detail as I did stitching his body, arms, and legs!

This girlie isn't finished, obviously. I was experimenting with making hair for stuffies that would be a bit more flexible, and less tedious than hand-tying each strand of hair. I've done that before, and it gets old QUICK.

I also had fun shading her lips. I started out with a basic hot pink felt, then used Sharpie markers to add shadows, and a Liquid Paper correction pen to add some highlights. It's kind of awkward looking, but I like it.

Oh, and her head is sitting on a coffee container. I'm going to make a body for her eventually, I just haven't gotten to it yet. What can I say, I get distracted easily!

Moving on to what might be my favorite stuffie dude?






This guy was a total experiment, but I like how he came out. Adding the pink details at his horns was an attempt to cover up a sloppy join, but instead it looks like a design element instead. I like that!



The heart detail on his chest is made from 3 layers of felt, decoratively stitched and lightly stuffed so that it's three dimensional. He's definitely a huggable stuffie!







Then there are the adipose babies. These guys are based on a Doctor Who monster, and they happen to have been on one of my favorite episodes! These two are made of white flannel, so they're super soft and snuggleable. What can I say, I like things I can hug!

I'm not so sure about the one on the right... I used safety eyes on him, and while they're cute, their placement is just a bit off to me. Still, they're handmade, so they don't have to all be perfect... right? :D

Let's not forget my socktopuses. I can't even begin to explain how happy these little guys make me. Then again, the octopus is one of my favorite animals! They're so bizarre, and so fascinating! In my mind, the guy on the left is a boy socktopus, and the one on the right is a girl. They're not dating, though... they're just good friends.

What, you don't give your stuffies background stories?

Finally, a couple of shots of me! My husband and I went to the updated Red Stick festival last week, and I had to share these with you. We started out getting lunch at McDonald's, and after we ate, we had to play with what was left of our food. I would love to introduce you to our french fry guy- isn't he cute?

And yes, I carry a bunch of sizes of googly eyes with me everywhere I go. I also carry a glue stick, and up until recently I carried a pair of scissors with me. I never know when I'm going to get the urge to make something, you know?





While we were there, I was feeling very frustrated with my fibro. It sucks when there are things I want to do but can't because my pain level makes it almost impossible.

So, I pulled out my gel pens and did some lettering. I don't know why it helps, but it does...

Most of the time when I'm drawing on napkins I'm leaving a happy note for the people who work wherever we happen to be. That day, though, I was seriously overwhelmed by pain. Still, it made me laugh, as did this photo!





Once at the festival, we found a dalek! How many of you could have found a dalek and not taken a photo with it??

I have to admit, no one even batted an eye when I did this. It was loads of fun... I'm hoping the festival gets bigger and bigger. I really miss it.


Finally, I'll leave you with this close-up shot of my cutie-patootie. I don't know why this photo makes me smile, but it really does. Hopefully it makes you smile too!

Sometimes the simplest things can be healing.

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New Year's Resolutions, and Why I Don't Do Them

Every new year brings with it wonderful things, including having life calm down after the whirlwind of holiday gatherings. However, the new year brings something I cannot stand- the idea that somehow this arbitrary calendar date should signal a time for total life upheaval. Blogs and news sites are talking about how you should be making resolutions, and so many of them seem focused on crazy ideas!

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for making positive life changes. But I also understand how the human mind works. Huge goals seem overwhelming, and huge tasks can sometimes seem impossible. The road is too long, and the positive feedback of reaching that goal is so far removed that it may as well not exist!

This sets us up for failure before we even start. For example, let's look at my weight loss. (Ok, I'm excited and I want to talk about my weight loss. Humor me here, please?) Had I started out saying, "All right self, we're gonna lose 90 pounds! Let's cut out all yummy foods and get on that restrictive diet so we can get there! Go go go!"

I promise you, 3 days later I'd be go-go-going to the ice cream store, or baking up a big pan of brownies to console myself. It's just too large an obstacle to overcome. I can't see myself doing it, and as a result, it's unlikely to happen.

Instead? Soon to be 3 years ago (I think? Maybe? I'm bad with time) I was at an event and someone took photos of me. Those photos were posted on Facebook, and when I saw them I was absolutely horrified. Not only was I fat, I looked unhealthy. I realized I didn't want to be that anymore. But instead of thinking big and heading for failure, I started small.

As I'd been basically maintaining my weight for a couple of years, I came up with a plan. I was going to eat slightly less with each meal, I would drink more water, and I would try to be more active when I was able.

Fibromyalgia means some days I'm just in too much pain to walk a whole lot, much less anything else. On those days, I didn't hate myself because I couldn't do something. Instead, I was happy for honestly trying, and called it a day. If we went to eat at Taco Bell (a family favorite), I would leave a bite or two of my burrito uneaten. Most of all, I bought a water bottle that has a built-in filter. I'm a bit of a princess, and tap water in southern Louisiana is yucky. I now take that bottle with me everywhere, so that I can drink tap water instead of going thirsty or reaching for a soda.

I didn't set a goal weight. I didn't even think about how much I wanted to lose. I just wanted to try and be healthier a day at a time. I thought about whether the calories of whatever treat I was wanting was worth the calories I'd be ingesting, and frankly? Sometimes it is. Sometimes I want a milkshake enough to deal with the calories. Most days, I don't.

I haven't reached an end because this isn't a diet. I'm not eagerly waiting to go back to any particular way of eating. Instead, I've made a bunch of tiny changes one step at a time. But 2+ years later? I lost that 90 pounds, I've gone from a size 24 to an 18 (which is now baggy on me! :D) and I'm able to do more than I have in years.

It's not about the giant leaps. Start with baby steps. If you mess up, it's ok... you didn't mess up anything too badly to fix, and tomorrow is always another day. Forget the new year's resolutions and maybe go for the new day's resolutions instead. :D

Every day is a new start.

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Drawing is wonderful for pain management!

You know, I'm dreading winter. If I'm flaring like this when the weather starts changing, I'm in for it. But hey, maybe this will be the winter that doesn't hurt me as much, right?

In the meantime, I've been doing lots of drawing and doodling. The above image is a background I painted, but the text was done in Photoshop. I have some more images too... enjoy!

Be aware, this is graphics-intensive. The images are optimized to load quickly, but there's still a ton of them.

Dealing With Difficult Times

Blah, this has not been a fun week. Long story short, I was prescribed a new medication around 6 weeks ago, and I seem to be having negative reactions to it. You know, the kind that show up in the pamphlet that comes with your medication under the category "Contact your physician immediately."

That's always fun. Comes with lots of unpleasantness that doesn't need to be dragged out on the blog. Let's just say it sucked, we figured it out, and now I'm moving on.

However, whenever I make a post about fibromyalgia, I almost always get comments about how helpful people find my suggestions on coping with chronic pain. So, let's check back in for another installment of How Laynie Keeps From Pulling Her Hair Out From Chronic Pain, shall we?

YouTube tends to help me manage pain in several ways. There are art and craft tutorials that are inspiring, music videos that can transport me to a different mental place, and cat videos that are just... well, cat videos. Seriously, we all know what those are, right?

But there's another category of videos that can make me laugh and forget just how much I hurt. I may have mentioned this once or twice, but I absolutely LOVE babies. Happy babies, silly babies, toddler walks, baby laughs, chubby baby thighs and happy baby smiles. I am that lady who goes completely mental in the stores when she sees a cute baby, and will often have entire conversations with a pre-verbal baby. Yes, people stare sometimes, but I think most people understand what's going on, and if they don't? They should figure out how awesome babies are and join in the fun!! :D

So, in the spirit of sharing videos that help me get through painful times, enjoy this absolutely adorable baby. Yes, the videos are vertical, but the baby is worth it.

Man, I WISH someone would pay me for this post. ;)

See my disclosure statement for more information.

Fibro flares, the plague, hospitals, and getting back on my feet.

You may have noticed there has been a slight... lapse in posting this winter. I would love to tell you I had a great reason- I won the lottery and was wandering Europe, tasting amazing foods and seeing amazing sights, or perhaps joining the space program and going into an intense period of training. Maybe I could have joined the witness protection program and had to assume a new (cooler?) identity.

But no, nothing that interesting. Instead, this winter has been filled with emergency room visits, hospital stays (none mine, thankfully), fibromyalgia flares and entirely too much pain to deal with. I've spent the last two months trying to manage the fibro while the weather played yoyo, sometimes going from 80° to 30° in one day. (For those of you using celsius instead of fahrenheit, that would be 26.6° to -1.1° in one day.) In short, weather changes hurt, and this winter has been full of them.

However, don't give up hope- I'm working on editing video I managed to record but hadn't had the brain power to edit (the drugs that help manage the pain tend to turn me into a mental cucumber.), so there are fun things coming. I learned how to water marble, and I've done some fun layering things. I've also got plans...

So bear with me. The weather is warming up a bit (well, in theory, even though it's supposed to be 30° tonight!!) and I've got plans. I really hope you'll join me in this new exploration of video. Also, if there's anything you'd like to know how to do, leave me a comment and I'll add it to my list of videos to shoot!

Love you all!

I am here, and I am somewhat coherent. Yay.

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Home again, and flaring again.

My mom is home again, mostly back on track. Unfortunately, the hospital stay coincided with one heck of a weather change, and the combination of that plus the stress of the hospital has triggered a fibro flare. No big surprise here, I've been through this before.

So, instead of leaving the blog empty again, I'm going to share a song from youtube that has had be laughing until I almost passed out. I've watched this video four times today, and I'm not done. This one's a keeper, in my opinion!

Singing animals make me laugh til I pass out.

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A Simple Logo

Because I can...

Yawn...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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Fibromyalgia Sucks. New Meds Suck. Being Sick Sucks.

Ink, with pencil shading. The monkey
was already on the page.

Have you ever had one of those days where almost everything you can think of goes wrong? They're no fun, and you run out of curse words to use and you don't want to throw anything because it's just more crap you'll have to clean up later, right?

My last 3 months or so have been like that. I was sick, then I had a fibro flare, then I had a fibro flare while I was sick. I spent about a month mostly unable to eat or drink much and ended up in the emergency room for IV fluids and quite a few antibiotics. Once that was ok, I ended up with new fibro medicine that's kept me sleeping anywhere from 16-22 hours a day.

No, I didn't mistype and you didn't misread. I've actually spent several days asleep for 22 hours. It's not cool, and I don't recommend it.

So, with all of the medical drama, I've sort of run out of nails to write about. Who'd have thought, right? I've got the jitters from meds and I'm just plain not feeling creative when it comes to cosmetics. However, I do have lots of sketchbook goodness to share with you, so hopefully that'll inspire you some. In fact, I bet some of these sketches would make for good nail art! So, enjoy the sketches (hopefully, at least!) and the fun nail mockups!

Some days it's not worth chewing through the straps....

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Post-Isaac update

Good news- Hurricane Isaac was mostly a non-event for us! Although my dad's house regained power a couple of days after the storm, we didn't our power fixed until a couple of hours ago. Whee, hurricanes. The good news is, we only had a few branches down from the storm, and our houses took no major damage. :D

Now we get to do fun things like clean up the yard and clean up the refrigerator that's been without power for a week. Boy, we're looking forward to that. I expect to wipe out a burgeoning ecosystem when we get to the fridge.

Click this to see it full-sized. It's worth it!

The best part about being at dad's this week has been the wildlife. Dad's got 20 acres, so we're surrounded by lots of nature! We got awful pictures of deer, and no picture of the bunnies or the foxes. My husband spent a lot of time outside by the hummingbird feeder, and got some amazing shots like these!

He also got some amazing video that I'm hoping to upload to YouTube. It was like having the nature channel on my camera!! :D

How amazing is that photo? You can see the little feathers on its feet, and the separation of its beak! They're such tiny little animals, around the size of my thumb. I love watching them, and at times there would be 8 or 10 birds around one feeder. So crazy, and so amazing!

So, we're off home this evening once the house cools off, and hopefully I'll stop flaring once I'm home. I'd hoped to get so much accomplished this week, but about all I could manage was lying in bed reading and hoping I would stop hurting.

Ah well. Spoons, right?

Hummingbirds are amazing. :D

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