Monday, April 23, 2012

Blast from the past: The one where I got glitter up my nose.

Still fussing with computer problems here, so I'll share another old post that makes me smile. The nail art in this one is a bit of a fail, but the story I share is...

... well, I'll let you decide.


I'm taking a break from the batch of nail tips I decorated, but don't worry. You're still getting the holiday nail art, but today it's more of a cautionary tale, although I'm not quite sure what I'm cautioning you against. I think it's a simple Don't do this, because it isn't pretty!

But first, let me show you yesterday's adventures! I finally sold the monster nails, so I treated myself to a sample pack of glitter! Unfortunately, it came packaged in cute little baggies, which doesn't work for me. I debated for quite a while in Michaels, trying to figure how I was going to store this stuff so that I could use it!

Then it hit me. I saw a set of paint pots for $2.75 hanging in the section with palettes and containers and things for painting. Have I mentioned I'm frugal? Yea, I don't want to spend $10 on something to store my $4 glitter, so this was just right for me! The only issue would be transferring the glitter from the packets to the pots, but I could be careful, right?

Right. The thing I forgot to take into consideration was that this is microglitter. It's so incredibly fine that it can waft into the air like a dust cloud, gently drifting and lazily gliding on air currents in the room. How do I know this, you ask yourself? Lemme tell you...

Because I'm so frugal, I wanted to get every last speck of the glitter out of the packages. I spent good money on that stuff, and I don't want to waste it! I cut the edge of the first bag off (emerald green, ine you were wondering, and haven't seen me since the incident!), gently tap-tap-tapped it into the pot, being careful not to spill any. Then, I lifted the bag up with the cut end pointing up, intending to tap it on my finger to pull down the glitter stuck to the edges of the bag. It worked perfectly while the bag was closed!

Unfortunately, I didn't think this through carefully enough. When I tapped the bag on my finger, instead of this causing gravity and inertia to pull the glitter on the edges of the bag down to the bottom it turned the bag into a very small bellows, sending a tiny mushroom cloud of green glitter directly into my face.  It felt like it was in slow motion, this tiny cloud expanding toward my face, enveloping my head in its sparkly green goodness. Except it wasn't quite goodness that enveloped my head. It was glitter, and glitter never goes away.

I won't waste your time with the tales of how I finally got all the bits of glitter picked up and shaken out of my hair. Let's just say it included lots of masking tape, lots of cursing, and lots of my family pointing and laughing at me. I deserved it, clearly, but really... how was I supposed to know this was going to happen?

I finally got the glitter packed away and most of the random glitter fallout picked up. What am I saying... I know I'm going to be finding glitter in random places for the next 15 years. Glitter is like herpes- once you get it on you, it never goes away.

And on to the nail art, since I've shared my secret shame. Unfortunately, this isn't much less embarrassing. I had visions of a cute, sassy Konad look that would be fun to wear. What I ended up with was more like the 80s threw up all over my nails. It's not horrible, granted, and it's better than I could do when I first got the Konad stuff. But still?

This isn't good. Not by a long shot. And the more I did to it, the worse it got.

It all started with the package I won from Scandalously Polished over twitter. I had no idea what to expect, so I was absolutely BLOWN AWAY when I saw it was 10 polishes and 4 nail foils! CRAZY! She is super awesome, and if you haven't seen her blog, then scoot over right after you read this and say hi!

In that package was a polish from H&M called Bella's Choice. I'm going to assume this has something to do with that vampire thing going around... Dusk or Nightfall or Twilight or something, yea? Whatever... it's an absolutely gorgeous turquoise creme that I couldn't wait to put on. I was hoping it would look wonderful on me!

In truth, not so much. It made me look somewhat ill. My husband looked at it and called it "that puke polish you're wearing." I wore it grocery shopping and the cashier caught sight of my nails, did a double take, then quickly looked away with a strange look on her face. I think she didn't want to ask if I was feeling ok, but you could tell she didn't think it looked good. I like the color, though, so I figured maybe if I stamped over it, I'd be able to wear it.

Enter the second color she sent- H&M Goddess on Stage. This polish is magnificent, y'all. I really don't even have the words to describe how amazing this is. Creamy, gorgeous, just luscious. I thought it would play nicely with Bella's Choice and make something wearable for me. But it actually stamped sort of sheerly, and in my stamping ineptitude I ended up missing spots and stuff.

No big deal, I thought to myself, I can just fix those spots with a brush. Sure, except that I couldn't copy the consistent thinness of the stamped image, leaving me with heavy purple spots on the edges of the print. Oh yea, that looks GREAT.

Maybe I can add some color to the spots, to draw the eye away from the dark edges, I continued thinking to myself. I pulled out my pink and white creme polishes and added some to the dots, but that wasn't enough, in my opinion. My husband did think it made everything look better, even better than the stamp alone. "It covers the puke nicely!"

Thanks hon. I feel much better now.

As a finishing touch, I added lime green and yellow creme dots to the remaining spots and covered it all in Seche Vite. And you know what?

It wasn't horrible, but I don't think I'll be wearing this one again. There are just too many things here that just didn't work well together, and I'm just... no. No. Never again!

Do you have any horrible stories about manicures that just didn't work as well as you hoped? I'd love to hear them to make me feel better about this one!

I'm STILL finding green glitter places...
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