I'll miss you, Chammy...

Today was not the best day. My mom's dog began showing signs of illness several days back, and not improving, so we took her to the vet yesterday.The results weren't good, and we had to put her down this afternoon. It was such a hard thing, but treatment would be worse and still have very little chance of helping her regain a positive quality of life. We love her too much to put her through it.

So, this afternoon we went to the vet's office after all the appointments were over. We loved on Chammy, and petted her and told her what a wonderful girl she was. We told her we love her so much, and we sat with her while the vet sedated her. And then we sat with her and petted her, and we all cried as the vet gave her the injection that would let her suffering end. It was peaceful, and it was time.

I'd never seen a vet that would cry with me in this situation. The vet and her nurse both showed so much respect, and it really did make it easier. Somehow, having her understand how much a pet can mean made it easier. I think I'll be writing a thank-you note to the office.

So yea, that was my day. I'm really gonna miss you, Chammy...

Some days just hurt too much.

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Looking at your life from the outside...

Image courtesy of my sketchbook.

Wow. Time flies when you're having fun living in interesting times. Still, I suppose it's better than the alternative... not living at all! Suffice it to say, although I've been thinking about blogging a lot, I've been dealing with so much other stuff that it just hasn't happened. I'm sure if you've lived through any interesting times of your own, you understand.

This year's flu shot absolutely knocked me on my butt! They usually make me feel a bit icky, but this year's... man. Maybe it's because I was coming down with something already. My NP seemed a bit unsure whether she should give it to me or not, but since I live an hour's drive away from the clinic, I ended up getting it anyway. So who knows whether I was sick from the shot, sick in general, or the two interacted to give me the awful flu shot plague. I did not, however, get the flu from the shot- that's a myth. The virus is dead in the shot, so you react to your own antibodies instead of actually getting the flu.

I'm also still trying to figure out how to rehab my knee. The good news is that it's improving daily. The bad news is that as I suspected, it will be at least a year before I even get an appointment with the orthopedic doctor. Because of that, I decided to do some research and figure out how to handle it myself. I'm fairly sure it's not torn cartilage, just because of how it's behaving. As such, I should be able to do exercises to strengthen the muscles in my thigh and calf to keep the joint more stable. Once the bones aren't wobbling around in directions they aren't meant to go, that should keep it from getting reinjured so easily. Plus, I could use the exercise!

Image via MHS Panther Print

The main reason I'm writing this, though, is to share an insight I had tonight. See, since I've been sick and miserable this week, I've spent too much time on Facebook, looking at pages for people I grew up with, people I went to school with, old crushes, etc. It was very depressing, seeing all these people so happy, so successful, so ... so not me. I found myself in a depression that was pretty unlike me, wishing that I'd been able to make more of my life to this point. It persisted, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I've wasted my life.

However, tonight I'd gone to walk with my husband, and I was telling him about this. As I told him about seeing the travels, the parties, the life experiences of everyone else, I had a realization:  when other people see what I've done, hear the different things I've seen and learned, they feel the same way about me. I've done some pretty crazy things: I've been a radio DJ, a professional photographer, a graphic artist. I've worked at a newspaper, and done costume design for theater. I've worked as a professional makeup artist, I've gone shrimping in the Gulf of Mexico and hand-fed wild dolphins from the side of a boat. I've lived, and best of all?

I'm not finished.

The world is enormous, and right now my future is open wide. Sure, I can sit here and feel sorry for myself because my Facebook page isn't nearly as interesting as someone else's. Or, I can accept the fact that Facebook pages are just a tiny snippet of someone's life, and everyone filters what the world sees.

Did you know that people have identified something called Facebook Depression? It's not just me. It's so easy to compare yourself to what looks like someone else's perfect life as shown by their Facebook page. Don't fall into the trap. Remember that your life can look just as perfect to someone else. Your life has value. Your life is special and precious, because of who you are and what you've done, even if you can't see it right now.

Anyway, I know this doesn't quite fit with the rest of my blog, but I feel it needed to be said. And please, if you feel too overwhelmed to carry on, too depressed to function, or even if you just feel like you need to talk to someone else, do it. Blurbomatic, a blog run by Dooce's husband, put together a collection of phone numbers that could be useful. I don't care if you comment because these helped you, but if you need one of these numbers, please use it. I care about you.

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Introspection... it definitely passes the time!

See my disclosure statement.

A New Amazing Blogger! Sarah from Chalkboard Nails

I apologize, y'all. I know I haven't posted enough of my own stuff lately, what with the world sort of deciding it was "Beat Up On Laynie Season." Still, I'm hoping you will appreciate the goodies I'm finding while I'm not blogging.

Can you believe this is an actual photo of the GITD mani?

Speaking of? Holy WOW, Nicole from Nightly Nails shared a link on Twitter last night that was the proverbial rabbit down the rabbit hole for me. This awesome glow-in-the-dark manicure is done by Sarah at Chalkboard Nails, and something about her blog just absolutely sucked me in and I ended up reading the whole darn thing.

Granted, she's fairly new at this, but still! She's sassy, interesting, and she can capture images of nails that glow in the dark!! I had to keep looking, and I'm so glad I did!

Now this is my kinda mod!

For example, look at this manicure: bold and graphic, a mix of glossy and matte, of muted color and saturated color, and of dark and light. I love this, and I love the mix of color. Something about this just works for me!

Also? I like that her nails are a similar length to mine, because it means I might be able to do some of these looks too! Nothing against you girls with the super-long nails, but mine just won't do that. Heck, even with acrylics I managed to break 'em off! What can I say, I'm talented that way...

I love lilies, and I love this manicure version of them!

Then there's this... I love this interpretation of a lily. I've been known to do photography of flowers, and I've got a lily photo that is very similar to the one she used as inspiration, so it really made me happy.

I also really like the softness of the sponged color fading out into the white contrasted with the bold dots, and the green touch at the cuticle is a gorgeous touch. It is a brilliant interpretation of a lily, and I may have to try one of my own!

But the best piece... there aren't words. Really. Just look!

*gibbers nonsensically*

Do you SEE that?? I've tried to do this type of manicure before, and I've never succeeded. I have my skills, but this isn't one of them. This is absolutely breathtaking, and .... Eh, to heck with it. Just drool over the picture!! :D

And if you've read this far, I've got a treat for you. Sarah is giving away the entire Wet n Wild On The Prowl collection, so you should totally hop over and enter! Or don't, since I wouldn't mind getting my hands on that one myself! ;)

While you're at it? If you haven't doe so already, you should totally head over to Nightly Nails and check her out too, she's one of the nicest people I know! Tell her Laynie said hi if you do!

Thank you, Nicole, for sharing the tweet that introduced this blog to me!

See my disclosure statement for more information.

Amazing miniature nail art!

My friends are so awesome. Moments ago, I got an IM from one of my best friends. She'd seen a bit of nail art that blew her away and reminded her of me. (Man, if only I could be HALF this good!! *laughs*) After talking with her for a few minutes and passing images back and forth, I knew I wanted to share these with you!

Please allow me to introduce to you Maya Pixelskaya. She describes herself thus:

I’m a videogame & art lover who decided to combine both passions in order to create unique products that have touched the hearts of retrogame fans around the world.

My work has been featured in numerous blogs and websites, as well as on design magazines. I also work in an animation studio while I’m still immersed in new projects.

Of course, all credit of the videogames and movies I inspire on goes to their creators; I only pay homage to them through my art. I hope you like it!

Onward to the nail art... this blows my mind. I wish there were clearer photos, but it's hard to photograph such tiny works! Also, keep in mind, she's not a nail enthusiast, so keep the cuticle comments to yourself please. She's aware her cuticles are dry and not the best, but this is about the art, not the nail care.

Street Fighter nail art, by Maya Pixelskaya.

 This is the image Misalynn sent me- a video game scenario with tiny little combatants beating the holy crud out of each other. Do you see the detail in this? Man, my first reaction was, "are you SERIOUS?? Is she painting these with a sewing pin??

In all honesty, I cannot imagine trying to paint this on a thumbnail. Too much fiddly detail, too much room to totally mess things up with a sudden twitch. But she has done a fabulous job of it!!

Then Misalynn linked me to her nail art gallery. Apparently, Maya does these little artworks before studying, then leaves them to dry while she studies, stuck at her table so she doesn't move around a lot. Interesting logic, although I think a bottle of Seche Vite might rock her world! ;) But let's see more art!

Movie-inspired nail art by Maya Pixelskaya.

The images in her nail art gallery are all inspired by films or video games, which I love. And no, I can't identify all of them... can you?

This one, though, was iconic for me even if I couldn't remember which film it came from. I had to search for quite a bit on google before I could pin down not just the movie, but the characters. (In case you want to know, it's here, although I won't spoil it if others want to remember on their own!)

The detail on this as well just blows my mind. So delicate, and yet it still captures the essence of the scene. Even the hair is suggested just so to fully set the scene. I'm absolutely blown away!

Nail art by Maya Pixelskaya.

One more image, and I'll leave you to go dig around in her galleries. Unfortunately, I'm not sure which film this is, but it doesn't even matter. You need to see this image full-size to really appreciate the amount of work that went into this one. The intensity of the flames, the subtle sparkle in the sky, all of it combines to produce a particularly moving image of destruction and sadness. So well done, I'm at a loss for words!

I hope you enjoy these photos as much as I have, and if you have a few more minutes, definitely check out her other art! She works in various media- neckties, converse shoes, guitars... truly a multi-talented lady!

Have a great week, and be good til next we meet!

I love my friends!!

See my disclosure statement for more information.

Kiss Fall Giveaway!

Oooh, it's that time of year again- one of my favorite companies is giving away lots of goodies just because they can! Kiss Nails will be giving away 10 days of prizes ranging from press-on nail kits to hair straighteners, and lots of other goodies!

I won a package from them in the spring and was absolutely overjoyed- enough false lashes to require new storage! (Seriously, I got one set of every lash they make! GORGEOUS!!) They shipped quickly and the package came securely wrapped. It was so much fun! And now, it could be your turn!

The fine print- you have to enter daily, so that's a bit of a pain, but it's SO worth it! This is one of my top 5 favorite brands, and I frequently turn to Kiss products to achieve the looks I want. No, I don't get anything for promoting this giveaway, I just love the brand!

While you're there, don't forget to like Broadway Nails as well- same company, more great products to love! Also, you can find both Kiss and Broadway on Twitter so you can get all the latest details about new products and more giveaways!

Til next time!

I love Kiss Nails' Facebook page- it's fun!

See my disclosure statement for more information.

Amazing post- be gentle with each other!

Sometimes you read a blog post that just resonates with you. The Bloggess, one of the funniest people I've ever read, posted a link in her Sunday wrapup that left me absolutely speechless. This post is written by someone I've never read before, but she touched something in me.

I don't mean to bring the mood down, but I feel like this really needs to be read. Take the time to see what signs the people around us are wearing. I'm afraid my sign would need a couple of extra people to carry if I filled it all in, but rest assured I'm doing my best and working hard to get past this.

Most of all? Every one of you reading this helps me do it. I appreciate you all. :D

Thanks to the Bloggess for passing this link on.

See my disclosure statement for more information.

How exactly do you explain it...

You know... I had an interesting conversation by email today. My mom was checking up on me, seeing how I'm doing with the knee of doom and all. Everything was going nicely til she asked the question.

It's not a rude question, or one people shouldn't ask. In fact, it's the logical question really:  So, what did you do to your knee?

The problem? I have absolutely no freaking idea what I did to trigger this round of fun. I simply woke up and my knee was swelling and painful. But how do you convey this to people?

See, I've run into this in the past. If I say I don't know, people think I'm lying to them because the story is just too juicy to share, or they think I was too drunk to remember what I did. I don't like either connotation, and saying I don't know is always followed by them pressing you to tell them what really happened.

If I tell them the truth- that years ago I had two arthroscopic surgeries on that knee, and that periodically it just decides it hates me, and that I woke up three weeks ago with my knee swollen, unstable, and painful- then they sort of zone out halfway through and I feel like I'm boring them silly, or that I'm going into entirely too much detail. Clearly that option is out of the question.

So why not come up with a great lie to describe what happened? I have a huge problem with that because I hate lying to people. Even little white lies make me uncomfortable, so I'd prefer to just not do it, even if it would make my life easier.

So I think I've found the answer tonight. My husband took me to WalMart because I've been stuck in the house for three weeks, other than the trip to the ER and a horrible trip to the post office to mail off a package. After the fourth or fifth person asked what happened to my knee, I simply shrugged and said, "I'm clumsy, what can I say?"

And what do you know? They accepted that answer as explanation enough, and let me get back to what I was doing. Who knew it'd be that simple?

I certainly didn't!

Image base provided by wikipedia commons..

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